There
are many combinations of foods that were once gawked at and only eaten by the
strange kids in the back of the school lunchroom, but are now socially accepted.
For example, fries and ranch. Until the school cafeteria, that chronically
undercooked their fries, ran out of ketchup no one would have considered such a
combination. Now, this combination is considered a tool for survival. While the
story may not be as dramatic as the fry/ranch sage, the results are just as
good: Cheese Curls and ketchup.
For
those of you that are unaware of what exactly a “Cheese Curl” is, let me
explain. A Cheese Curl is similar to an original Cheeto except that it is made
by a small, almost regional company based in Birmingham, Alabama. The Cheeto is
a staple of any self-respecting junk foodie’s diet. The food gives a satisfying
crunch while providing that savory flavor of processed cheese that snack food
addicts enjoy. However, while Cheetos are a prized addition to any pantry that
supplies avid movie watchers, small children, or closeted “junk food junkies”
it falls short of a Cheese Curl in many ways. Someone who has never had a
Cheese Curl would never know the difference. They would go onto to lead a full
life and think that they have been fully satisfied by a cheetah in Ray Bans in
the realm of crunchy, artificial cheese products. Those of us fortunate enough
to live our lives near a Golden Flake Factory know differently.
Imagine
the scene, you have finished your snack of Cheetos and you have cheese dust on
your fingertips. Cheetos’ cheese flavored dust is only slightly less grainy
than chalk. Finishing this snack feels a lot like chalk sticking to your hands after
writing on the all familiar schoolhouse chalk board, but without the
embarrassment of having been called to the board or the self-analyzing of your
handwriting compared to that of your peers. The cheese dust is the biggest
difference to me between a Cheese Curl and a Cheeto. This same scene is quite different with a
Cheese Curl. Instead of having to brush the chalk-like dust of a Cheeto off
your hands, after consuming Cheese Curls one must wash their hands. If you
attempt to scrape by without this measure, you will have Ompalompa Orange
fingertips for the rest of the day.
This
is because the cheese coating on Cheese Curls is exponentially different than
its cousin the Cheeto. The cheese coating is less like chalk dust and more akin
to flour. In the best cases, if you fingers are dry you will come away looking
like you just dipped your fingers in a canister of orange flour mistaking it
for the cookie jar. In the worst cases, your hands will look and feel as if you
just attempted to make homemade dough or cover raw chicken in flour as
preparation for your Grandmother’s deep fryer. These latter examples only
happen if your fingertips are wet from drink glass condensation or from
preemptively licking your fingers.
Another
distinctness between the two almost identical snack foods is the crunch that
the consumer hears with each bite. The Cheeto seems to have less density and
more air within the slender, cheese coated snack giving the finger food a
lackluster crunch. Golden Flake’s Cheese Curl on the other hand has a crisper
and denser product making for a more delightful crack between the teeth.
These differences
between the two products may seem small and slight to some, but for me the
beauty of my not-so-secret-anymore combination lies here. Resorting to eating
Cheetos with ketchup feels like I am corrupting a time honored tradition in my
life. The Cheese Curl’s almost overpowering flavor balances well with the
strong, sweet taste of ketchup. Any less cheese and the ketchup is
overwhelming; anymore and the cheese dust might get caught in your throat like
reminisce of a sandstorm.
Not only do the
flavors of the food and the sauce compliment one and other, but the textures
have the same effect. This snack juxtaposes the brittle nature of the Cheese
Curl against the silky make of the ketchup letting the diner enjoy eithers
nature during the course of a single bite. The dynamic of the snack allows both
parts to be presented in their best light without having it compete for
attention against its counterpart.
I
discovered this combination as when I was very young. Up until this point in my
life, my favorite food was chicken nuggets. To make it my favorite meal all one
needed to do was pair it with the regional favorite Golden Flake’s Cheese
Curls. The love for the Cheese Curls and ketchup combination grew from a purely
curious stance. When a small child has three items on a plate chicken nuggets,
Cheese Curls, and ketchup, and has learned that social convention dictate that
two of these be eaten in conjunction and the other alone she will inevitably
wonder why. This is the nature of children. When my “why?” moment came, I tried
the combination and to my surprise there was nothing wrong with it. In fact, I
found it delicious.
Soon the
combination became a staple of my childhood. Every time I would eat ketchup and
cheese curls in conjunction I would strive to be able to delight in my invented
dietary combination. However much joy I may have received by partaking in
mixture, it was also something I kept secret. When my mom would make my
favorite meal, I would wait until her back was turned. I have waited for
friends to be distracted, and roommates to be out. Until this day, the only
human being who has seen me consume my culinary achievement is my sister
(because you can’t hide anything from nosy younger siblings).
Now I have laid it out for you to
ponder and possibly add to your stash of secret eats, or at least try on whim because how else will you know if I am truly crazy or not.
